Sounds crazy on paper

So this week has been a little crazy in terms of what has happened at the school, but as I shall relate, it is relatively boring in the classroom.

So on Monday, Wednesday and now today (Thursday) we have missed 3rd period due to fires throughout the building.  Monday's was in the boys locker room on the ground floor (we could smell the smoke in the stairwell); Wednesday's was on the 2nd floor in a stairwell not too far from my room (though I didn't actually notice it); and today's was on the 4th floor.  This has meant that 4th period has ceased to exist basically (for me).  And we all go outside and stand/sit around for an hour or two and then move into the auditorium and wait for either the next period or school to be over.

On top of all this, today there were several more disruptions.  First there was a pre-planned 'health fair day' at Woodson.  This involved a play about teen pregnancies (which some of my students were in) and a series of tables set up to talk about different health issues/services.  This took up all of 2nd period.  

Then during lunch we got this announcement that 'the school was in lockdown.'  Now this was the first time we've ever heard that over the PA system, so I assumed it had to do w/kids acting crazy because of the fair and then running loose in the halls during lunch.  Then several kids came up and were all like "there's a HUGE fight in the cafeteria and they've got guns!!!"  Now I don't take the kids too seriously when they talk like this since rumors spread like wildfire and are almost always ridiculously exaggerated.  And this was not an exception.  Turns out two things were going on at once.  First of all there was a large fight in the cafeteria involving 30+ students which involved several actual arrests due to the level of violence.  This led to students who were 'up in the tower' to be blocked from re-entering the cafeteria by police (which led them to believe there were guns, etc.).  At the SAME TIME there was apparently some fighting taking place between two neighborhood rival gangs that did involve gun fighting, which caused the school to be on lockdown in order to keep the students in the building and away from the fighting that was taking place somewhere nearby-ish (though I didn't hear anything and my windows were open).  This also led to us not being allowed to sit on the bleachers when we left for the fire since we 'didn't want to be targets' for gunfire, so we had to stand under the bleachers.

Anyways, all this led to was one boring day for me.  I basically sat around, read the news and didn't really feel like grading (which I suppose I could have done).  I talked w/some of my kids about Harry Potter and other great science fiction books though, and that made me feel good to know that a) some kids have great taste and b) some kids still read!!  

Tomorrow are parent-teacher conferences.  I am banking on a 0% attendance rate for my kids since I have upper-classmen this term.  That means  yet another day w/no instruction and nothing to do but grade (which I will actually do this time).

Not too bright...

A student who has failed (or gotten a D at best) in 3/5 of the classes she has taken w/me due to a lack of effort and work ethic has asked me for a recommendation to an internship. This is the same student who comes late every single day and only ever does the bare minimum of effort on any assignment. I told her I would but that I would be honest. Apparently that didn't phase her.

My letter is probably too nice as it stands, but I did say that I have "major reservations" about her and "cannot wholeheartedly recommend her to this program."

There are 2 reasons I didn't say no outright (which in retrospect I probably should have)

1. She is already a pain in the ass, if I refuse to do this for her she'll probably become even more of one.
2. She showed up with another student who also asked for a rec and who I will give a good one, so it felt weird to say no to one and yes to the other that publicly.

I should have just said no... *sigh*

*Edit 9 AM* After writing this, I decided that I needed to point out her excessive tardiness and not turning in major assignments, and the only nice thing I said was that maybe this job could help turn her around. Ok this rec is now worthless. I don't really know what to do here. I guess I can just tell her I really didn't have much nice to say and face the consequences in class. Only 1.5 months left anyways!

*Edit 10:26 AM* She hasn't asked for the rec yet, maybe she won't want it or remember.

Title of my blog is seriously true

So I haven't updated in a long time, but I survived testing week (we had 3 hour 2nd period classes-which was INSANE).

Everything is going along fine, but really busy.

Nothing of note to report.

Oh dear

When reading this, please do not worry about me. I am doing quite well and am as back to normal as ever.

I had a pretty rough week, which culminated in a negative event on Friday during my lunch period.

Firstly, all week my students were acting pretty crazy. They refused to listen to any directions, they were being ridiculously disrespectful and I was just beginning to lose my cool.

On Friday I had "the talk" about 2 times and both times they listened for about 2 seconds then went back to doing exactly what they were doing before.

Then 'the event' happened. One of my regular lunch participants and student was sitting in his regular spot as normal (We will call him boy 1). I was behind him facing the computers, helping one of my students log on. Then a 2nd boy came in (boy 2) and placed his entire arm around boy 1's head sort of choking him. A few students commented on it and I turned around and told boy 2 to "take his hands off of boy 1" and when he didn't I went over, placed my hand on his shoulder and repeated my directions. He finally did what I asked but then boy 1 (who had his back to us) stood up, turned around and tried to either hit or push boy 2. But instead of hitting boy 2 he hit me (since I was standing right there) right in the face (around the cheek bone). It wasn't very hard and there is absolutely no physical damage, it didn't even hurt. Instead I was simply shocked that this was happening in the first place.

Due to a myriad of factors, I 'lost my cool' to put it lightly and began swearing like a sailor and crying really hard. First I told boy 2 to "get the f*** out of my room" and then went off on how none of the students "f***ing respected me" etc. etc. Now this was clearly not the way to react but basically that event was the big straw that broke the camel's back. I mean the kids think all their shenanigans are really funny, but all they are is draining. I was also crying a lot and couldn't even look at any of my students without bursting into tears again so I just walked out of the room entering a few times to grab my cell phone and my laptop. This lasted about an hour and I talked with several administrators, security, other teachers and my dad.

Everyone was very supportive of me and had nice words of both encouragement and advice, all of which were appreciated. Many of the kids were also quite concerned since they had never seen me act that way and some of them were afraid I was going to leave and never come back (while that thought never even entered my mind, I did consider leaving for the rest of the day if I couldn't pull myself together, though that turned out to be unnecessary since I did manage to get a hold of myself after a while). It is hard not to take what the kids do personally even if I know that is what I have to do. They're kids, they aren't talking to each other to hurt my feelings, they are just talking to each other because that is what they want to do. But when I work so hard and they give me so little, it just makes me so upset. I don't ask for much and they won't even give me that. I know that I can't change who they are overnight and make them into respectful human beings, but they're just so awful sometimes that it really drives me crazy.

Needless to say some new rules are being imposed for 2nd period and lunch time. I can only do so much, it is true, but I have to try to change things around because it is getting ridiculous and it has to stop if we are going to function until the end of the school year.

But as I said before I am perfectly fine now, I got a lot of the emotions out of my system and I am back on track for dealing with the students. What happened was an accident, and while the students will be getting in serious trouble for fighting, I am not going to add any additional burdens because I was physically involved.

I greatly respect and care about my students, I just wish that sometimes they could give me a little respect back.

OFFICIALLY ANGRY

THIS ENTRY IS GOING TO BE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM PISSED OFF.

Ok maybe not, but now you get my point.

Just 45 minutes ago at the end of lunch I got into my perpetual argument about why students shouldn't use words like gay as a slur and the argument devolved into a discussion on evolution. Lunch was over and students were heading to their classrooms and I was in the hallway. The teacher next door (the world's most inept social studies teacher) came out and asked what we were talking about. We told her, and she said that I SHOULD NOT be giving my opinion on religious matters. RELIGIOUS MATTERS?!?!?!!?!? And she tried to quote the Constitution at me. ARE YOU SERIOUS. This woman wouldn't know the Constitution if it hit her in the face. Repeatedly, which was what I was thinking of doing. HOW MANY TIMES have they talked about JESUS and GODS WORD to the students. HOW MANY TIMES. And how often have you or I openly complained to their faces?! what is that? Never? WHY YES. NEVER. NOT ONE TIME. Even though I am WELL within my rights to do that.

And what exactly was I doing?! Oh that's right... TALKING ABOUT EVOLUTION. A SCIENTIFIC FACT YOU OBTUSE NON-QUESTIONING PEOPLE.

Believe in religion all you want. That's your choice. But DON'T YOU DARE tell me I can't talk about evolution to the kids because I might "unduly influence their decisions because I'm in a position of authority" DON'T YOU DARE. The whole POINT of these kids getting an education is so they don't blindly accept what they are told. THAT IS THE POINT. I'm not telling them to drop all their beliefs and side w/me. And the kids know that. Hell they even stood up to that teacher trying to say I couldn't talk about this. I'm asking them to question their reality, not force them to accept mine (although that'd be a killer side effect).

But if she ever tries that again I will come down so hard that she won't KNOW what hit her. I'm officially making evolution part of my courses. I'll just have to teach social darwinism in all my classes in order to justify it. (In world history that's a no-brainer, I'll have to think about how to do it with economics.)

But all I know is these kids HAVE to question what they're told, and right now the teachers are just treating them like sheep and not teaching them to be CRITICAL THINKERS as in THINK and QUESTION what they are told, be it by me, another teacher, the news, or the KING JAMES BIBLE. I mean am I telling them it is all lies (whether or not I believe that is a different story)? NO. What I am telling them is they have to listen to what is out there, they need to have open minds and then they make their choice. Not just blindly accepting something because it is in the bible, I mean COME ON that's how we get things like the crusades and hate groups.

HATE IS WRONG PEOPLE!!! YOU KIDS SHOULD KNOW THIS FIRST HAND AND YET YOU TURN AROUND AND DISH IT OUT TO THE OTHER PEOPLE. DON'T LET THOSE AT THE TOP KEEP YOU DOWN! RISE UP AND CLAIM WHAT IS YOURS!!!!!

An official hearing

I got to attend my first official (tape recorded) hearing. An outside person came in and had to receive 'official statements' in regards to an incident that took place between two of my students (though the incident occurred in another teacher's class). The student (Student 1) had received 10 days suspension and the family was challenging that decision.

The situation: In math class two female students were arguing over a chair while a math test was being passed out. When Student 1 received his test he turned to them and asked them to be quiet (unsure what the tone or actual words used were). The girl (now referred to as Student 2), a student who is also in my 4th period class and who has a history of really not getting along w/Student 1, got really angry and began yelling at him to stay out of her business, and she eventually walked over to him continuing to yell and began poking him and sticking her finger in his face.  Student 1 eventually stood up and they began yelling at each other, without stopping/listening to the teacher. The director then walked in and broke up the fight telling the students to walk to her office. Student 1 turned and began walking to the front of the room, and at this point Student 2 balled up her fists and began attempting to attack Student 1 rather wildly. The director stepped in between and got hit by Student 2, and Student 1 left the room and headed to the office. Both students received 10 days suspension.

Background: Both students have a history of 'being in each other's business' and it has been very hard to get them to stop. While it has not come to physical blows in my room, Student 2 has thrown Student 1's backpack across the room, and there is a general craziness between them that can be very very annoying. Now Student 1 is very smart and levelheaded and he uses these two abilities for 'evil' sometimes by pushing people's buttons who he knows are going to explode and possibly get in trouble while he won't. That being said, nothing he has ever done or said in my presence has warranted the outbursts that Student 2 has had. She also has a history of completely unacceptable behavior and the director does not give her a harsh enough punishment. If a boy had done what Student 2 had done in the incident above they probably would have been expelled. And the fact that they both got 10 days seems ridiculous to me.

The Hearing: Because the sentence was so harsh for Student 1 and right at the end of the advisory (which would probably affect his grades), his mom called for an official hearing to have the decision reviewed. The Director walked into my room that morning and asked if I would come in and be a witness, although I had not seen what had officially happened. She wanted me to be there to explain their history of bad relations. But the fact was that I disagreed w/the decision so I wasn't really sure what to do/say, because I didn't want to not back my boss, but I also did not agree w/what she did at all. So the arbiter came in and began asking everyone questions, and I basically didn't say anything because they had never actually fought in my room and that was all he wanted to know. In the end, Student 1's sentence was brought down to 3 days. It seemed like there was a lot of animosity and stuff between the social worker who was there and the Director, though it was really the social worker's tone that was kind of uncalled for. But in the end I think the Director made a bad call, and that Student 2 should potentially be expelled if her behavior doesn't change, because her behavior has gotten out of control and she needs to be somewhere else.

Anyways it was an interesting experience to be in an actual 'hearing.' Student 1 is one of my favorite students because he is very bright and someone who seems to love to learn for the sake of learning (to some extent) and is also an extremely motivated person who knows his goals are only attainable through hard work on many different fronts and is willing to put in that work. He is also very smart, scoring advanced on his many standardized tests. I want to help him w/the SATs, because I believe that if he gets a good score on a national scale, that he can go wherever he wants for college (combined w/his continued excellence in school and football). He also seems amenable to that help, so I will have to figure out how I can help him, maybe find a SAT prep course that he can take if he is willing with someone who actually knows what they are talking about.

First 'sick day'

So today I decided to call in and use one of my sick days. This is officially the first day that I have missed (although I had to go to 2 social studies meetings making me miss my 4th period class, and once I left at like 1:30 the day before Winter Break when I didn't have any kids and I needed to pack/leave). Admittedly I am not sick. But I was really really tired, and yesterday did not go well.

The classes themselves actually went fine. No better or worse than any other class, but for the first 2 periods they were pretty laid back, so no real problems. The day started out on a sour note though because apparently on Wednesday afternoon (after I had left to go to the social studies department chair meeting) things got out of hand in the auditorium (where the kids had been moved due to the flood) and the teachers didn't do anything to stop the students from acting like wild animals. So the Director sat us all down and gave us a 'talk' which I think was a good idea but she misinterpreted what people were up to. She said that people clearly didn't support her, but I think teachers were just being lazy and didn't want to take on extra responsibilities during the 'crisis situation.' As I've seen before, the teachers here are all about doing 'just what I have to.' And I know that that is partly because they have been here for a long time, but good lord I can't stand the teachers on this staff (minus the math teacher - I like her a lot). And that's the reason I can't stay in the long run (although it sounds like a lot of them might leave at the end of this year... so maybe I should stay in the hopes that I can help out in the hiring process and get some more motivated teacher up in here to help me out).

Now of course the teachers were getting very defensive instead of just listening to the Director, so that made people mad. They acted just like the students, I mean seriously. So that wasn't good.

The next bad thing was "The Boy", the student I am trying to help get his act together, who was the main wild student who was not controlled. So that was very disappointing.

As I said, my first two periods went fine. And it wasn't until lunch and my free third period that things began to unravel. During lunch, there were a TON of students in my room. And once again they were acting like little wild animals. Especially "The Boy". Every 3rd word out of his mouth was a swear word (and I have NEVER heard things like that from him before, he is usually fairly respectful even if he is more on the playful side). And "The Bad Boy" was the one behind it. His very presence makes other boys act crazy. We have been trying to get rid of him (usually I'm against that, but in this case the boy HAS to go), but so far no good. So during lunch I was just getting angrier and angrier.

Then during my planning period I had to watch someone else's class because the teacher had to go pick up her daughter. That part wasn't so bad, but it was the 9th graders and they were acting crazy and at that point I didn't want to deal with them so I just planned for my 4th period and let them sit and talk. I mean it wasn't like I had been warned that I would have to do that so I didn't feel obligated to try and make them do work. They always tell me 'we don't have work' anyways and I simply didn't feel like arguing. Some of the kids did do work, and it wasn't too bad having them there.

What was actually the most frustrating thing was that I wanted to make copies of my powerpoint presentation and the bookwork that the students were going to do. I went to the copier and it jammed up 5 times in a row. So I got 2 full copies out of that. Then I tried to just print them with my printer in my room, but that printer is awful, it printed one page and stopped. Then I tried printing it out on the laser printer in the formerly flooded room, and that one didn't work. Then I tried room 201, but there was a meeting in there so I couldn't use that printer. Once the meeting was over I tried, but it also wasn't working. So then I asked the Director if I could use her printer and so finally after 5 more minutes I got my work printed JUST as the bell rang for 3rd period to get out. (During that time the 3rd period teacher came back and collected her students.)

So that was super frustrating, I was going to bust some copy machines and printers after that. Like literally take them out Office Space style. So I was starting to lose it. 4th period was ok, "The Needy Student" can be very draining, but he is a good kid and very smart. He is always asking for attention and information and for me to do this and do that, and a lot of times I will because it isn't that much, but it adds up. So when the bell rang, it took me 10 minutes to get out of there today. Which is probably the earliest I have left in a long time. I mean I usually stay at least 30 minutes if not much longer.

So last night I thought about it for a while and concluded that I really didn't want to go to work today, I wanted to rest and get some grading done, and that's what I am going to do. I think based on how I am feeling this was a very good decision. Yay sick days!